1. |
One Day at a Time
03:43
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At the age of 22, I’d been to 4 of my friends’ funerals
I swear to god this town is fucking cursed
And I’ve never understood the good intent behind the phrase
“Hey, you know it could always be worse”
I’ve been fed a sense of wonder from the moment I was hatched
And when that wonder dies you must grow up and face the facts
But when I’m left with mental sickness that they want me to explain
It’s like an itch where you can’t find the right place to scratch
I used to take pills with my breakfast every day to keep me sane
But when they caused too many problems I had to find another way
It’s no one’s fault that I’m so fucked up, though I often blame myself
But I am slowly learning how to feel okay
With every new place, the more progress I make
The more I think about all the mistakes I have made
But if you stop dwelling on the past, your regrets will fade
I’m okay, I swear I’m learning to deal with this life
One day at a time, I’m trying to look on the bright side
When you feel trapped like a spider underneath a mason jar
Try and remember to commend yourself on just getting that far
And instead of trying to escape, you should try calling that jar home
It’s important you know how to be alone
It’s important you know how to be alone
It’s important you know how to be alone
And you’ll be okay, I promise you will learn how to deal with this life
Just take it one day at a time, and you will learn how to look on the bright side
You’ll learn to find the blessings in a curse
The wind that stole your hat is the same one that lifts her skirt
And once you understand happiness is caused by luck
You’ll stop chasing fake bliss and then you’ll give less of a fuck
And don’t worry, in time you most likely will find
That woman or man who’s worth your time
And if you don’t, then that’s fine, throw out that image in your mind
Of that elusive “missing piece,” someone to make you feel “complete”
Only you can help yourself, you shouldn’t need anyone else to make you whole
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2. |
Scenery
01:15
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I don’t give a fuck about who thinks who’s the best
You thought you got away with murder, but I just held my breath
And I watched as everyone settled for less
As you follow in the footsteps of everyone you love
Spit out some mediocre bullshit and the kids will sing along
But then there’s the few who see right through
When innovation is a lost art, we lose our motivation before we start
You can’t fake inspiration and pretend that this painful repetition is something of substance
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3. |
Living
02:16
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There’s a bitter taste of jealousy that comes with every memory
That’s why I’m separating you from me, to keep my mind intact
And I don’t want your sympathy, just know I won’t be settling
I’m fed up with my apathy always holding me back
Sometimes the things you think you want
They are completely different from the things that you need
And sometimes the answer is so obvious
Just barely out of reach
But I can feel it now, I felt myself grow stronger
And you can’t hold me down, now I’m cutting off the anchor
And I can finally breathe with my head above the water
And you can’t fuck it up because now I’m living for me
Sometimes the things you think you want
They are completely different from the things that you need
And sometimes the answer is so obvious
Just barely out of reach
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4. |
Not Penny's Boat
03:52
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Every day to him is just one more he has to wait
And every day to her is one more keeping him away
Every night between they can’t help but lie awake
The days drag on for so long and there is so much that they would like to say
He’s found meaning in the saying “home is where the heart is”
He knows he’s found something worth waiting for
Too scared to fall in love when love can fall so short
It doesn’t need to be said, it is always in the palms of our hands
So take it for what it is
Two hours down the road, it never seemed so far away
Two hours on the phone just to keep her head on straight
There’s no one left in town but all the people that she hates
And they can try to deny it, but they both know that they’re so fucking scared of it
She’s found meaning in the saying “distance makes the heart grow fonder”
And every day he wants her more
Too scared to fall in love when love can fall so short
It doesn’t need to be said, it is always in the back of our heads
So take it for what it is
She says she can’t just sit and wait for the inevitable to play out
All the fears that she has made, in her own head she can’t be safe
Because she gave in
In such a vulnerable place, there’s only so much she can take
And he knows she’s still worth the wait
Through all the heartache and the pain, they fell in
Into love
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5. |
Illusion
03:14
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You’re actively avoiding the truth while you claim that you’re preaching it
And this hypocrisy doesn’t sit so well with me
You’re recruiting others to help you corroborate your lies
While stubbornly defending your fucked up alibi
I’m so tired of faking politeness and trying not to offend
Grown adults who still rely on imaginary friends
There’s no logic in that ancient book on which you still depend
I say it’s high time for all this shit to end
The world can’t coexist with the awful things you because your god told you to
Keep clenching your fist around your outdated worldview, we’ll move on without you
We’re trying to expose you for the fucked up cult you are
And we’ll start to see the progress we have made
The rest of the world’s evolving and small minds will go extinct
Your influence will slowly fade away
I’m so tired of faking politeness and trying not to offend
Grown adults who still rely on imaginary friends
There’s no logic in that ancient book on which you still depend
I say it’s high time we put this shit to bed
The world can’t coexist with the awful things you because your god told you to
Keep clenching your fist around your outdated worldview, we’ll move on without you
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6. |
Alone
05:36
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I wake up on a friend’s couch with the sun in my eyes
I slept in all my clothes, and I’m sweaty and hungover
I’m 24 years old, and every day I’m getting older
Statistically I’m young, but I still feel like I’ve wasted my life
The smell of wet grass and earth, small town summer nights
Make me nostalgic for high school, when I felt alive
And social interaction was a regular thing
Now I can barely talk to girls, and I just really don’t want to bother anyone
Maybe I’m meant to be alone, and that’s alright
I’ll be fine
I’ve been shy my whole life, and I don’t think I can fix my mind
I come home every night after a long day of work
At a job that doesn’t pay enough, to a cat for a wife
The window’s view of the skyline, tall buildings and city lights
Should fill me with wonder, but instead I just feel small and out of place
And I’d like to have someone to spend
The rest of my life with, but it seems like instead
I’ve wasted all my chances and fucked up my safe bets
So rather than go searching, I think I’ll just stay in bed
Maybe I’m meant to be alone, and that’s alright
I’ll be fine
I’ve been shy my whole life, and I don’t think I can fix my mind
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7. |
Dress Rehearsal
04:02
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I’ve spent four years up on this stage playing this fucked up version of me
And I hate every line I say
Every action’s been rehearsed for weeks and strategically put into place
And when the curtain calls the mask comes off the wall
I’m too afraid to show my face
When the spotlight’s on, the words spill out without a thought
And everything I do, I do for everyone but me
A sheep in wolf's clothing just trying not to be eaten alive
You’ve spent the last four fucking years watching this awkward mess I’ve made of myself
And you can’t even tell that everything I do is all for show
I’m just reading from the pages as I go
And when the curtain calls the mask comes off the wall
I’m too afraid to show my face
When the spotlight’s on, the words spill out without a thought
And everything I do, I do for everyone but me
A sheep in wolf's clothing just trying not to be eaten alive
I know in time that I will find the strength to throw this face to the floor
But until then, it’s here that I stand
Waiting for the curtain to close me in
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8. |
Ups & Downs
03:36
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There’s only so long you can dwell on something that never made much sense
They say that when you find it, you will know when it’s for real
And I can say that now I feel the best that I have felt in years
You brought out the best in me and hid the worst away
You taught me how to live, you have shown me how to grow
I’ve seen how weak I was, and I’ve come into my own
I can hide inside a bottle, or I can take it in and know there’s always ups and downs
But I’m never alone
I’ve gotten so used to the push and pull
That I’ve forgotten just what it felt like to be in control
To have something you want without all the bullshit that comes with it
So why hold on to the past when the future’s as it is
You brought out the best in me and hid the worst away
You taught me how to live, you have shown me how to grow
I’ve seen how weak I was, and I’ve come into my own
I can hide inside a bottle, or I can take it in and know there’s always ups and downs
But I’m never alone
I’ve developed this new sense of pride in being me, and doing the best I can
It’s not about reaching perfection, it’s just seeing the beauty in what stands in its place
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9. |
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I’ve done this all a few times in my life
I’m not placing blame, I just think it’s fucked
I seem to do this all the time
I’ve done this all more than I would have liked
It hurts to say, but I can’t escape it
It takes over the mind
I just can’t shake it off
Cross my heart and hope to die, I’ll never know the reasons why
I’ve known nearly as many as the years I’ve had to live
Two decades, wasted lives with so much more to give
Every swing hits closer to home, I’m scared to death of the pitch that sends it in
Bite my tongue, get the thought out of my head
I wish you would not put that weight on me
Don’t go where I can’t follow you
Don’t put that weight on me
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10. |
Me Again
03:12
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I’ve been high for a month, I’ve lost sight of who I am
Convinced myself to be everything I hate
Yeah, it’s fair game but it hurts just the same
And I can’t be alright until I’ve tasted the shame
I’m still there, I’ve settled into my new skin
But I know that you’re at home in worse shape than I’m in
Last night I had a dream I cut myself wide open on the kitchen table
Restrung my arteries just to keep my heart beating
I guess I’m ready to try again
I guess I’m ready to try again
I think I’m ready for this to end
And I guess, I guess I’m ready to try again
I’m ready to find myself and then
I’m ready to be me again
Yeah, it’s fair game but it hurts just the same
And I’ll give up the grudge if you’ll give up the games
I’m still there, and that’s exactly what’s keeping me here
My fucked up sense of pride can take the blame, I don’t care
Last night I had a dream I cut myself wide open on the kitchen table
Restrung my arteries just to keep my heart beating
I guess I’m ready to try again
I guess I’m ready to try again
I think I’m ready for this to end
And I guess, I guess I’m ready to try again
I’m ready to find myself and then
I’m ready to be me again
Last night I had a dream my scars healed and my heart beat like a drum
I guess the worst is over
I think I’m finally me again
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11. |
Don't Forget
04:39
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I’m tying up loose ends and planning my goodbyes
I’m pushing forward to the finish line
I’ve accepted that what I’ve spent my whole life
Working towards was just a waste of time
I lost what I was looking for
And I can’t keep this up anymore
I’m just so tired, I guess it’s time
To just let go, I’ll be alright
I can't still tell myself this isn’t over yet
Say goodbye but don’t forget
I’ve made my peace, confirmed my doubts
I’m raising my white flag, I’m bowing out
That was the last straw, this is the last drop
This is the last song, this is my last stop
I can’t do this on my own
I’m giving up, I’m going home
I can’t ignore this sinking in my chest
I’m moving on, I’m done with this
I wish it wasn’t over, but I can’t pretend
Say goodbye but don’t forget
Now it’s time to cut these ties
Just pull the plug and let it die
Set me free, please loosen these binds
And mourn the death of yours and mine
Sell my things, clear my plate
Cut my losses, and clean my slate
The spark is gone, the dream is dead
Say goodbye but don’t forget
I can’t hold on, there’s nothing left
We had our fun, but I’ve come to accept
The memories are all that’s left
This is goodbye, but I won’t forget
Hang up my guitar, put down my pen
Close this book, this is the end
I promise you’ll always be my best friend
But I can’t go on
Goodbye and don’t forget
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